“Olivia”

The light in the room woke me from my dream. I have this dream often and there seems to be the same ending. Always a good looking stranger I met on the internet dream, comes to my house and tries to kill me. I always wake up not knowing the ending. Did he kill me? Did I kill the demon with the sharp claws reaching for my neck? I never seem to find out as the dream ends the same. Darkness.

I get up and slide out of bed to make my coffee. Just out of curiosity, I check the front door. There are no footprints or scratches. I walk next to the backdoor, open it, and find nothing there showing anyone, or anything has been near the house. I knew that would be so, but I check, nonetheless.

I grab my coffee and head to the couch. I open my laptop and log on. Today I will look for an internet date. It had been a year since Tom left me and I was lonely and needed companionship.  All this internet dating stuff is making me have these awful dreams. I quickly close the laptop and stop myself. Maybe it isn’t meant for me to have someone else? I take a sip of my hot, steaming coffee and ponder my thoughts.

My phone rings and I see it is my friend, Lauren calling.

“Hello, Lauren.”

“Olivia, hi. I just found out there is a new bar in town opening this Friday night. I thought you may want to go.”

“Uh, I don’t know, Lauren. You know the guys you meet in bars. They are just out for one thing. Usually not looking for a long-term relationship.”

“Well, Olivia, not to be critical, but when’s the last time you’ve been with a man? Aren’t you getting, well…needy?”

“You mean horny, Lauren? Sure sometimes. But not to the point I must throw myself at someone. I always thought that looked bad on most women. You know, throwing yourself at a man.”

“C’mon, Olivia, let’s make a night of it. I’m not asking to throw yourself at anyone. Besides, it’s been a while since we did something fun together.”

“Okay, Okay, I’ll give in. Do you want me to drive?”

“That’s okay, Olivia. I’ll drive myself, you know, just in case the man of my dreams shows up?”

“Okay, to the new bar on Friday it is.”

I hang up the phone and laugh to myself at my friend, Lauren. She had always been the adventurous one, me, of course, the shy one. I took my relationships slow. Lauren was speedy and up front. She knew what she wanted and was not afraid to ask. I, on the other hand, tend to take my time, freezing a relationship before it even gets started. Maybe this Friday will be different. We’ll see.

It’s Thursday and I need to get dressed for work. I go upstairs and turn on the shower. The hot water is calming all the nerve endings that were stimulated far too much last night. I rinse my hair and turn towards the back of the shower. Through the steam I see a face? What the hell, Tom’s face? Just as quickly as she thought she saw her ex-husband, his face vanished into the steam. Tom?

“Hello, Olivia!”

I know, I don’t hear that. It can’t be, can it. I turn off the water and peek around the shower curtain. Barely open, I see nothing but the steam that has now gathered on my mirror. I grab my towel and begin to dry off. I would have to blow dry my hair but today, I decided to let it be curly. I didn’t want to stay in here too long. The episode in the shower is giving me the creeps.

I begin to wipe off the foggy mirror and reach down for the toothbrush and toothpaste, looking back up at the mirror. I jumped and lost my grip on both the toothbrush and tube of toothpaste. The claw, the one that reached for me in my dreams was above my head. I scream out loud and duck, covering my head with both hands. Waiting for my imminent demise. But there is nothing. I want to peak from my covered eyes, shut so tight it was giving me a headache. Do I dare?

Slowly, I open a small gap between my index and middle finger. Nothing. I turn my head around and look upward. Nothing. I raise myself from a squatting position and look back into the mirror. Nothing.

I must have something wrong with me. This dream, this crazy dream is consuming me. Damn that Tom. He’s the cause of it all. I think too much about him. That’s what it is. It’s Tom giving me these bad dreams. The evil son-of -a-bitch that he was. I shake my head and get back to finishing drying and putting on my clothes. Do I need therapy?

I finish dressing and head to grab my purse and keys, head to the garage, and start the car after opening the garage door. I back out and close the door and head off to work. Driving down the road, I hear the voice again.

Hello, Olivia!

A chill goes down my spine.

I return home from work on Thursday and have a boring evening. Watching television and a cup of hot tea before bed, isn’t exactly killing it like we will be tomorrow going to the new club with Lauren.

Lauren and I had an on-again-off-again relationship as friends, depending on if she was attached to a guy or not. When she was single, we hung out a lot. If she had a steady relationship, we saw each other very little. But even with all that, her love life and single life far outdistanced anything going on in mine.

I’d looked at dating sites often, but I couldn’t get myself to jump into it. Mainly because I kept having these bad dreams about on-line dating. Was it me or was there really that many bad people out there. You hear it in the news all the time. It was hard to trust anyone after what Tom did. He ruined what I felt was the strongest love I ever felt for someone. The cheater brought his girlfriend to this house. I caught them here. In our home!

I feel my face flush with heat at the memory of such a horrible set of circumstances. Whatever was on TV was now just a blur and all of it came rushing back to me, causing me anger and tears. I hate myself for feeling this way. I must put this in the past. I promise myself tomorrow will be better and head up to my room. Friday night would be here soon, and I, Olivia Manson, will take control of my demons and have fun tomorrow at the new bar with Lauren.

I toss and turn, unable to turn off the flow of thoughts consuming me. Damn that Tom. My parents were right, which I hate, but I should have never married him. They nagged me to no end about not marrying him until I couldn’t take it any longer. I married him just to disappoint them. I wasn’t going to let them control my life any longer. But in the end, they were right, and it was Tom, that damn Tom Manson that shattered my world.

I hear the shower running, I think I see… Tom? In my shower? And who’s this woman under the sheets in my bed? What the f… ? A loud screech causes Tom to turn off the shower. He wraps the towel around him and leaves the bathroom.

“What is that?” the woman asks Tom.

“Stay here, I’m going to check it out.”

“I’m going with you,” the woman named Amy replied.

“Don’t go down there,” I say aloud in my sleep as the dream continued.

Tom makes it halfway down the stairs. The screeching noise gets louder. He stops halfway down the steps. Amy, the woman he cheated with, has a sheet wrapped around her and freezes. She starts to shake with fear. She had never heard such an awful sound.

“The back door, it’s coming from the back door,” Tom whispers.

“Don’t go… just… call the police,” Amy stammered.

“It’s probably just the dog.”

Tom continued down the steps and headed for the back door leading to the kitchen.

“Don’t open the door!” I scream and sit straight up in bed. My nightgown is soaked with sweat and the fear inside of me doesn’t want to know the end of the dream. I slowly get out of bed and make it to the bathroom. I lift the toilet seat and feel like I could hurl. But nothing comes and I now hold on to the sink, keeping myself upright, even though my legs are like jelly. I look up in the mirror…

“Hello, Olivia.”

I close my eyes, and needles, hot and piercing, feel like they are penetrating my skin all over my body. I shake my head, “No, no, no…”

With the morning dream and bathroom episode behind me, I head to work. I am barely keeping myself together. My dreams, they are haunting me more each night. Lauren and I would have fun tonight, and maybe these dreams will vanish. Maybe I should cancel. Call Lauren and tell her I’m not feeling my best. No, no, I will go, I must pull myself together.

***

Finally, Friday night has arrived. It’s time to put this all behind me. I am trying to convince myself that dreams are just that. They mostly have no basis, but maybe only a slight reality of happening in your life sparks all the other fears inside of you. You wake up, and they disappear.

I am ready to meet Lauren at the new bar. I take a deep breath, put my car in gear, and head to the new bar.

Lauren texted me and said she already had a place for us to sit. Naturally, she beat me there as she was always the early bird. I enter the bar, and it is nicely decorated with modern taste, giving the appearance of a fun place to be. The atmosphere was all about something exciting tonight. The customers were buzzing, and a DJ is playing the thumping music. I see Lauren has a table for us already and I tell the host I am going to be with my friend as I point to Lauren. I walk ahead to meet Lauren.

“Hey, Olivia. I’m so glad you came. It’s so good to be out together again,” Lauren said loudly over the blaring music, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder.

“It’s good to be here. I just hope we can hear each other over this music!” Olivia countered.

“Isn’t this the best place? Surely, we can find a nice guy in this place. It really seems popular,” Lauren said.

“It sure does,” Olivia responded looking to the left and noticing a handsome man staring at her from the long u-shaped bar to her left.

Lauren noticed Olivia staring at the man. “Did you find one already?” Lauren quizzed Olivia.

“Oh, he is cute, but I’m not quite settled in with you. How was your week?” Olivia asked, turning away from the man at the bar.

Oh, dull. Work is work, but there is a new hire at the office that I really like. I told him we were coming here tonight. Maybe he will show up!”

Oh great, just what I need. I don’t want to be a third wheel. Not my idea of fun. Can Lauren just be my friend and not always have to be after every guy she meets? I was looking forward to some conversation. Guess that won’t be happening.

Suddenly I snap out of my “Debbie Downer” thoughts, and there is a nice-looking guy at our table. “Olivia, this is Jerry Anderson. Jerry, this is my best friend, Olivia.”

“Nice to meet you, Olivia. I’ve heard a lot about you from Lauren.”

“Nice to meet you as well,” I offer back.

Lauren and Jerry have a conversation about work and my attention drifts back to the man at the bar. While I stare, Jerry and Lauren go to the dance floor, and I’m left alone. Oh well, third wheel I guess it is for tonight.

The handsome man from the bar is walking towards me. Me, Olivia, the one with the fractured outlook on life. Me, the dud and third wheel.

“Hello, seems like your friends left you alone. Mind if I sit for a second? I came alone and I noticed you from the bar. Something stuck out to me about you. You just appear different than most people who hang out on a Friday. Seems to me you might need some good conversation. My name is Nathan Grissom,” he said, holding his hand out to shake.

“I’m Olivia, that’s my friend, Lauren, out there dancing with her new friend from work. So, she left me here to fend for myself.”

“Well, Olivia, you may have done better than ending up with me, but you could have done worse. Can I sit down?”

“Sure, help yourself.” I offered, noticing his neat haircut, kind facial features, and eyes, oh his eyes, they were beautiful. He lowers his tall and fit body to our table, and he looks directly into my eyes.

“I feel as if I’ve seen you before. Not a pick-up line, just thinking I may know you from somewhere. You seem familiar, yet, you are remarkably beautiful, I don’t think I would have forgotten you.” Nathan started.

I blushed immediately, his eyes taking over. It was quite remarkable that his eyes were holding my attention like that. It was embarrassing. I recover quickly. “Well, thank you for that, I haven’t been out too much lately. Lauren and I wanted to check out this new place tonight. To be honest, I haven’t had much opportunity to date since… well, since my divorce.”

“I’m sorry,” Nathan answered, as he looked away from Lauren and Jerry, then quickly returning his attention to me. “Look, I must leave soon. I can only stay a few more minutes. I have to meet family. But can I see you again? I’d like to call and set up a real date, so maybe you can give me your number and I will call you and set up something for us, that is if you want to.”

His eyes, those beautiful eyes, tell me he was sincere, so I write my number down for him. He takes the number and reaches his hand out to shake mine. I take his hand to consecrate the future date and notice how cold his hand was. Really cold, contradicting his warm and sexually attractive eyes. Ice cold. He smiles and turns to walk away. What in the hell did I just do?

Jerry and Lauren come back from dancing, and I am still in a trance about how cold his hand was. It didn’t fit what his eyes were saying. I shake it off and my evening continues with me being that third wheel I despised being when I hang out with Lauren. She had a guy, and I always went home alone. This night is going to be no different. I’m such a drip.